My Top 5 Tips on Being an Effective Communicator
1. Smile Often (Genuinely).
No matter what people say, and yes in today’s world it is the most difficult thing to do, this is no. 1 ingredient for being recognised as a great communicator. Essentially what a Smile tells others is
a. You are open to receiving them .
b. You are open to listen to them
c. You are approachable
2. Use Positive reinforcement words.
Words like- excellent!, wonderful!, fantastic!, Awesome! , Marvellous etc are words that will not only ensure you feel excellent, wonderful, fantastic etc, but also create a different perception about you. Create your list of these words and use them often in your communication. In fact let me go ahead and say this that one should find ways and moments in your interactions to use these words often… What these words do to you is
a. You sound enthusiastic
b. Creates a positive atmosphere around you
c. Encourages the person opposite to communicated his/ her thoughts without being threatened.
. 3. Generate options- Rather than complaining, blaming.
This is according to me the key to effective communications in organisations, especially with peers, subordinates and bosses. We have always heard these words from our bosses.- “ Don’t come to me with problems , come to me with solutions”. Most of us feel helpless on hearing this and in fact even go ahead and “bad mouth “our bosses to a certain extent. But in fact what these words are telling us is that we should focus on solutions rather than problems. I,e focus on the way forward rather than what has happened. What this does to you is
a. Helps you and your communication move forward
b. Keeps you in a solutions seeking mode
c. People see you as a problem solver rather than a part of a problem
d. Creates influence
An effective tip to be used in all areas of your life, at home with family, at office with colleagues, bosses, subordinates etc.
4. Remember different is not equal to wrong. Different is simply that ..different
Not all conversations go as planned. You have certain ideas that invariable gets pushed down, laughed at, or simply negated at times. My interactions and study of great influencers over the years has made me conclude that the common factor that all great influencers have is that they appreciate differences. Pushing your point without paying heed to others point of view is the single most detrimental factor of communications stalling, relations faltering and eventually increase in resentment and regret. All you have to do when you hear someone say something that is different to what you are proposing or suggesting is, look at that person and acknowledge his points of view. Be open to learning from them and all people you come across in your field of life. What this does to you.
a. Improves relations
b. Genuine interest in what is being said is demonstrated.
c. Adds to your information / knowledge.
d. Keeps doors of communication always open
5. Listen for Intent and not Content
Last, but not the least, listen for the intent and not only what is being said i.e the content. What it essentially means is that when in a conversation with any one , respond to his/ her intent of the words being uttered and not on what he / she is communicating. There is always an intention/ purpose for what we say when we say it. Identifying them and responding to them moves your conversation to the realm of deeper understating and connect. This helps you in the following ways
a. Improves your empathy quotient
b. Helps you focus on what needs to be done
c. Helps understand others perspective better
d. Deepens understanding and connect.